i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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