I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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