Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
