are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
