The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
