do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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