forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
