You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I could make wine with my vomit
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
is wine microwaveable?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
