You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
