In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
