doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
