well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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