i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
