I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
