Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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