What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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