my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
