On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
