i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's rum buckets o'clock
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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