That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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