Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
