Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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