And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
