shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
