Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
