Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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