I feel great
I just peed on a car
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
