yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
