i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
