i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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