She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
