Already got asked if we're dating
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize