Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
