Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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