You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
