What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
