I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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