he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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