what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
