Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
