Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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