the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't put those talents on a resume
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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