There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize