I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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