just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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