there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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