I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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