dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
