Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
