im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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