he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
