i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
