There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
