whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
