I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
