Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize