She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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