Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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