don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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