it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I need to align my fucking chakras
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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