Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Couch. On fire.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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