I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
