why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
