The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If that was your dad, he is hot
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize