Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
