I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
