THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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