evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
