I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize