He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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