Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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