three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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