I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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