a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize