the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
this hospital has no fireball
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
