she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
